Mutatis Interruptus
by Lucid Dreamer
Summary: What happens when our favorite mutants interrupt me when writing a story?


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Mutatis Interruptus

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Lance and Pietro wandered the mall in futility, neither with an amount of funds sufficient to buy anything worthwhile. Except pretzels. And they were already eating those. Stealing was out of the question as well, the entire Brotherhood had decided to reform themselves after the incident with Tabitha's father and the attempted robbery of the carnival (where the hell was Pietro, anyway?)

The silver-haired boy turned on his friend, "This is all your fault, you know."

"What? How the hell is this my fault?" Lance shot back.

"**You** forgot **your** wallet on the coffee table. If **you** had **remembered** to bring it, we'd be able to have a real lunch instead of just a couple pretzels!"

"Hey, it didn't look like you remembered to bring any money either, so don't just blame me!"

"Hey! I'm a male airhead, what the hell do you expect from me?"

"Well, you could have ran back home."

"But I don't wanna."

"It'll take thirty seconds! You can go home, get both of our wallets and be back before I finish this pretzel."

"Ohhhh, trying to hog it all to yourself, are you? Now I'm definitely staying here. Besides, I'm tired."

"You're **never** tired!"

"I have a tummy ache?" Pietro asked, his suggestion unbelievable, especially since he was still chewing on his pretzel.

Lance threw his hands in the air, giving an exasperated sigh. "I give up."

Pietro smiled, yet another challenge won for the fastest kid alive.

"Ooh….. I think I know her." He then veered off, into a video store where a girl in a snug pair of jeans was bent over, eyeing the bottom rows of the romance aisle.

As they snuck up behind the redhead, Lance's mind jogged through a list of redhead who had showed an interest in his hyperactive. "Tracy? Melissa?"

Pietro shook his head, holding his hands several inches out from his chest.

"Allison!"

He gave a nod and a smile.

The brash youngster moved forward, placing his hands against the girl's hips. Pietro drew her back, their thighs resting against each other whilst he ran his hands along the side of her leg. As her body rose, scarlet tresses burying Pietro's face, he inhaled the perfumed scent of her shampoo. 'Mmm, Hawaiian Ginger,' he thought.

Lance watched Pietro lean forward as he whispered softly into her ear, "I missed you."

She gave a slight giggle and turned her head to the voice. Her eyes widened as she recognized the boy's features, "PIETRO!"

"Jean! Ahh!" Pietro jumped back, clutching his hands to himself, muttering, "hands, hands."

"What the hell do you think you were doing? Do you always just go around feeling up anyone you want?"

"Well…." at his coy grin, Jean scowled. "Okay okay. Actually, I thought you were someone else."

"Oh, **that's** comforting."

"Hey missy, don't try any deny that you didn't like it."

"As if! Look, your hands were cold. That doesn't mean I liked it. Alright?"

In the background, Lance snickered as the two bickered at one another.

"You shut up!" Jean turned, pointing a threatening finger at Lance.

He held his hands out, warding off the Red Menace (thank you for the term Red Witch), "I didn't say anything!"

Pietro huffed, crossing his arms, "Well your butt isn't that great anyways."

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Pietro: turns his head to look at me Hey pal, I've just got to ask you something. Why do you always seem to pair me off with Jean? We barely even come in contact with each other.

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Author: Look, don't go knockin' me. It's called "fan fiction" for a reason. I'll have you know, plenty of people like Jean/Pietro stuff.

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Pietro: You're the only one writing it!

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Jean: And what' wrong with my butt? she runs her hands against her legs, and backside

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Author: Uhh….. watches Jean Nothing?

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Pietro: It's too tight, for one thing.

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Lance: And that's a bad thing?

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Pietro: Quiet you! Look: I'm just saying, why don't you pair me off with someone else this time? Let's see… you've done Rogue, Kitty, Jean, Tabby and Risty… hmm… how about Storm?

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Ororo: camera pans to her off screen, she shakes her head, but can be seen blushing

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Logan: jumps in front of Storm, extending his claws while growling Snikt!

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Evan: hops in for some reason No way man! Get away from Auntie O. several spikes protrude from his forearms

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Pietro: Hmph. I'm too young for her anyways. How about Kitty? The fan response in that _Cookies_ story was pretty reasonable. Plus, she's reeaaally cute!

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Kitty: she's standing next to Ororo, also blushing If I _have_ to…. we clearly don't believe her

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Lance: NO! You keep the hell away from her. Lucid likes you best anyways, he'll probably write something with you and anyone else if you just asked. he turns to me You keep him away from Kitty, you hear?!

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Pietro: he smiles at Rogue and Kitty, who return their own little smirks at him, before Lance jumps in Eek.

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Lance: You stay away from her! Kitty's **my** girl!

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Kitty: annoyed _His_ girl?

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Pietro: Just give her five minutes alone with Pietro maximoff, and then she'll be **my** girl.

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Lance: No, she's my girl.

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Pietro: My girl!

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Lance: My girl!

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Pietro: My girl!

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Lance: Nothing you can say will take my girl.

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Pietro: My girl!

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Lance: My girl!

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Pietro: looks after Kitty, who's stomping off angrily Where's she going?

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Lance: I dunno. I thought all girls liked guys to fight over them? shrugs Just keep away from her.

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Pietro: NO! **You** keep away from her!

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Author: Shut up! Now be quiet, or I'll make this slash.

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Lance & Pietro: We'll be good.

Scott, Evan and Kurt start laughing, latching onto each other to keep from collapsing to the ground. But… realizing as they're the biggest subjects for slash-fiction, they quickly let go of each and walk off in separate directions

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Author: Now, as we were…….

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"What?!" Jean shrieked. She, Miss Perfect herself, couldn't believe anyone could think her body (especially her ass, stuffed into tight pants) would be anything but… well, perfect. "I don't believe you, why don't you come and feel me up again?"

Jean: Hey, I wouldn't do that.

Pietro grinned and stepped forward, taking the lovely Miss Jean Grey into his arms. But this time, he was able to face her. They had quieted down, staring into each other's eyes as Pietro's hands pressed against her flesh, squeezing, fondling, pleasurably running along her rear. Their gazes locked as Pietro's palms and fingers roamed Jean's body, almost daring each other to break away. Each could feel the other's breath crash warmly against their faces.

His head tipped forward, lips softly coming against Jean's, noses gently pressing to one another. Pietro found a warm, responding mouth in Jean. Her lips parted, Pietro took a fraction of a second to decide whether to move the kiss further, then grasped the opportunity, his tongue slipping between the redhead's lips. She closed her mouth around the slick, pink organ, suckling on him while a gentle hand stroked her cheek.

Lance, meanwhile, looked on in jealousy.

  
Lance: Of Jean! You've got to be kidding me. Maybe if it was Kitty…..

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Author: Shush you. I wasn't finished.

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Lance: Oh, okay.

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Lance, meanwhile, looked on in jealousy. If only he could have the chance with Kitty that Pietro had with the popular redhead. He couldn't help but feel a little lonely at the thought, but then again, he reminded himself that his Kitty Kat had shown greater interest in him recently. It cheered him right up.

A few stragglers in the record store stood to watch the spectacle of Jean and Pietro, oblivious to the world moving about them. It should be strange to see two people on opposing teams become so lost in each other, but hell, I'm writing this. Right?

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Duncan: jumps into the story Hey! That's my girlfriend you're making with there, Pietro.

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Pietro: So? Be quiet, she likes it.

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Jean: giggles shortly, but bites onto her lower lip to keep from laughing out further

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Duncan: Don't I get a say in this?

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Jean & Pietro: No!

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Professor X: rolls up in his wheelchair beside me How come you've never included me in one of your stories?

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Magneto: Me as well, how could anyone forget about the _Master of Magnetism_?

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Professor X: Like this. touches his fingers against his temples

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Everyone: Who's Magneto?

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Magneto: Hey! destroys Chuck's wheelchair, then uses it to beat the cue ball within an inch of his life. He then rips Wolverine's adamantium skeleton from his body when he tries to intervene

everyone starts to argue about how horrible killing is. Magneto battles storm overhead, while the X-Men and the Brotherhood argue amongst one another, yelling at the top of their lungs

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Pietro: takes Jean's hand, and quickly rushes her away form the scene. They quickly arrive at a cliff overlooking the ocean. It's nearly sunset. He smiles at her, but a bit too deviously for her liking

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Jean: Uhh, you're not going to throw me off, are you?

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Pietro: shakes his head No.

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Jean: Oh.

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Pietro: draws Jean into an embrace, tightly pressing their bodies together Hi.

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Jean: smiles, finally getting the idea Mm, hi.

Eh…… use your fantasy for the rest, you perverts (just kidding ya'll). But really, if anyone wants the rest I **seriously** urge one of you to write it. But tell me about it! I wanna read it.


End file.
